Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
