is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
