We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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