Me too!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
