You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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