you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
