I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
