Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
