just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
