now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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