Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
