You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
