i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
