Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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