Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
