Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
