what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
