Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
