it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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