it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
