Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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