What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
