Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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