I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she woke up with a sticky ear
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize