His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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