no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
barbara walters just said penis...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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