I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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