Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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