You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
