i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
