Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
