that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize