the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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