Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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