No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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