Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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