I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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