come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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