she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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