I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
