Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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