also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just found a bag of teeth...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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