Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
