this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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