So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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