He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
