I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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