Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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