I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
