Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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