So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
